I’m staying in on a Saturday night
I’m home alone with my TV Guide
Can you make me, all in HD?
Bad news has never looked so good
When will Coca-Cola sponsor me?
I’ve been drinking that shit for weeks
It’s made me faster at getting fatter
I ain’t won nothing at all
Ohhhh
My McDonald’s never looks like that
Neither does my beer for that fact
It’s the laughable guest on the talent contest
I think I’ve seen this one before
Grandpa didn’t look much like John Wayne
My relationships just ain’t the same
As the sitcom story, the good morning coffee
The orange juice or the sofa sale
Ohhh
As the sitcom story, the good morning coffee
The orange juice or the sofa sale
